The Surreal Life
by therichnobody
Summary: It's a yugioh, KH, Inuyasha, Naruto, and Bobobo crossover. It's crazy, so read.
1. Episode 1

The Surreal Life-Episode 1 1st week

I decided to put this old story I wrote before I got on Fanfiction on Fanfiction since you like my work. let me tell you right now, I wrote this before I found out Kagome was only 14, so pretend she's 16, OK? Also, I'm catergorizing this in Yu-Gi-Oh for the sole reason Kaiba started the whole thing. (but I might put under misc.so watch for it!) Oh, and the rule for all my stories: (w), (w: blah blah) means whisper and (t), (t: blah blah) means thinking. new edition: If there are pauses in someone's speech, that means they are diong something else and are taking a pause to do it. Or you could use common sense and save me the trouble of typing this. (you know I'm lazy. Still love ya'll) And another thing, I don't own any of the following: Yu-Gi-Oh, Kingdom Hearts, Naruto, Bo bo bo-Bo bo-Bo bo, InuYasha, Paranoia Agent, or The Real World/The Surreal World. Now that I'm done going on and on, let's have some fun. Oh yeah, for future refrences, Bakura, Ryou, Marik, and Malik have their own bodies. Atem is still in the puzzle. Apply that to all of my stories using those charaters. (w) Dude! That took forever.

_8 roomates, 5 different sources, 1 month to live in a house together equals one hell of a spin-off. See what happens when characters stop being polite, and start being, Surreal. (whatever the heck that means)_

Enters the 8 roomates: Beauty, Gaara, Kagome, Riku, Sakura, Sora, Tea' and Yugi.

The Mansion: A two-story, 4 bedroom estate complete with basketball court, fully stocked resources, indoor spa/sauna, swimming pool, and weight room. Let's begin, shall we?

Tea': I told you Kaiba wasn't gonna do anything but trick us, Yugi! Now we're stuck here for a month with all of these people we don't know.

Yugi: Oh well, maybe we'll learn something in the end.

Beauty: (sigh) Wow, it's great to get away from Bobobo for a while.

Riku: This is gonna be nothing but bull.

As soon as all of the guests are in, the big screen T.V in the living room came on showing Kaiba's face on it.

Kaiba: Welcome. I hope you all had a nice flight.

Riku: The flight was bull, too.

Kaiba: Now that you're all here, let's get the functoin of this grouping out. You all are here to meet new people and learn to live with them in a hostile-I mean, "friendly" environment. Why don't we introduce ourselves.

Sakura: I'm Sakura Harano, and I'm from Konahagakure village.

Sora: I'm Sora, and I'm from Destiny Islands.

Riku: Riku. Same as him.

Yugi: My name is Yugi Mutou, and I am from Domino City.

Tea': I'm called Tea' and I'm from Domino, too.

Gaara: Gaara. Sunagakure, the village of sand.

Kagome: Kagome's the name. (insert where Kagome lives here) is where I'm from.

Beauty: I'm Bauty! Nice to meet you. I'm from-

Kaiba: Let's get this over with. There are only 4 rooms so I'v decided to let 2 to a room. On the table to your right, there is a bowl with 8 slips on them. Each one of you pick a number and tell me that number.

Riku: 1

Tea': 5

Kagome: 7

Gaara: 3

Yugi: 8

Beauty: 4

Sora: 6

Sakura: 2

Kaiba: Good. The roomates are as decided. Room 1 shall go to Riku and Sakura.

Sakura: Great!

Riku: (t) Great.

Kaiba: Room 2 shall go to Gaara and Beauty, Room 3 to Tea' and Sora.

Sora: (t) Why couldn't I get a room with Riku?

Kaiba: And finally Room 4 shall go to Kagome and Yugi. On the 2nd floor is the Confession room, where you can tell all and only you will know. It's a way to blow off steam. Well, that's it. See you all for a briefing next week. (T.V clicked off)

Riku: Tch, if we are to live amongst each other, then why are there little kids here? (gesturing to Beauty, Sakura, and Gaara)

Sakura: (inner sakura: Little kid! I'll show you little kid!) I'll be 13 next month.

Riku: And? I'm checking this place out. (walked upstairs)

Yugi: Well, at least there's someone else I know here. Hey Sora! (runs over to him only to get kagged by Gaara)

Yugi: (getting up) Hey! What was that for?

Gaara: I felt like it.

Tea': That wasn't very nice. You should treat your elders with respect!

Gaara: Elder? He's as short as me.

Yugi: I'm not short!

Sora: Yeah, you are. No offense.

Yugi: I'm older than you, Sora!

Sora: You are?!

Kagome: C'mon, let's be nice. Friends?

Sakura: Yeah, Kagome's right. You really can't blame Gaara for his behavior. He's always grumpy. So be nice, OK Gaara?

Gaara: He's nothing but a midget.

Yugi: I'm not a midget!

Beauty: Yeah, he'd prefer it if you call him "little person".

Yugi: I'm not a little person, either! I'm the oldest out of all of you and I demand to be treated with respect!

Beauty: (in baby vioce) Ooooh, are you tired? Is the little baby cranky?

Yugi: that's it! Yu-

Tea': No, Yugi! We don't know if this place is safe for him yet!

Sakura: WOW! Does he release his chakra when he's mad?

Kagome: Is he a demon?

Sora: No, he's just letting the Pha-

Tea'&Yugi: No!

Gaara: If you're gonna attack me, I'd love to see you try.

Sora: You better not provoke him. He'll mutilate you.

Gaara: Hmph. (walked upstairs)

Sora: That showed him. So Yugi-

Sakura: So, where did that cute friend of yours go, Sora?

Sora: Huh?

Beauty: Yeah, where did he go?

Sora: I don't-

Kagome: I'd love to be his.

Sora: (vein pulsing on his temple) Hey-

Tea': Wonder if he's avaliable?

Sora: He's taken!

All Girls: By who?

Sora: Me-i..Mai Valentine. (t: That's a good one!)

Tea': Mai? Are you sure? I didn't know they met-

Sora: Well, they did. (t: How was I supposed to know someone with that name was real?) (walks off)

Beauty: Well, that was weird.

Sakura: Oh well, that's why I got a room with him!

AG: No fair!

In the weight room

On the benchpress, Riku's doing 185lb and on his 5th set of 10 when Gaara walked in.

Riku: Hey. Gaara...wasn't it?

Gaara: (sat on the opposite bench watching Riku)...

Riku: Girls...messing with ya?

Gaara: ...

Riku: Don't...worry about...them. I've...got the same...problem myself. Worse...actually...10. (puts the weights up)

Gaara: ... ... ...That midget Yugi.

Riku: (drying the sweat off of him) Yugi's pretty strong. You know, if he really wanted to, he could beat everyone here.

Gaara: Yeah right.

Riku: All he has to say is two words.

Gaara: Is he...really that strong?

Riku: Yeah. It's best if you don't get on his bad side. Usually he's a nice guy.

Gaara: (getting up) I'll believe it when I see it.

Riku: Ok, if you can beat me, then maybe you have a chance at beating Yugi.

Gaara: (looks at the weights Riku just pumped, then at Riku's shirtless rock-hard abs) I'll pass. (FLASH) What was that?

Riku: Huh? (looks around and sees Sora in the doorway holding a camera)

Sora: Yeah baby! This is pure gold! Work it, Riku! Work it! (takes another picture)

Riku: SORA! (runs at the door)

Sora: Uh-oh. (takes another pic then runs)

Riku: Little pest. If I get a hold of him I'll-

Gaara: Is that who you were talking about?

Riku: Yeah, I just can't get why I'm so attractive? You don't like me, do you?

Gaara: (glared at Riku)

Riku: Good. I got enough problems as it is. (left)

Gaara: (stared at the weights Riku pumped, tried to lift them but failed, then picked up some 5lb dumbells and started to lift.

In Room 2

Sakura: hey, nice room.

Beauty: too abd I have to share it with Mr. Grumpypus. You're the lucky. Your roomy is-

S&B: Riku. (sighed lovingly)

Sora: Do anyone of you have a computer with a printer?

Sakura: Why?

Sora: I'm trying to get my-I mean I have some pictures to sell.

Beauty: Of who?

Sora: Riku with his shirt off.

Sa&B: No way!

Beauty: Here, laser jet printer wtih high resolution to capture every detail of his hot bod.

Sakura: How much?

Sora: $5 for a head shot, $10 for a body shot.

Sakura: I'll take a dozen!

Beauty: Give me two dozen of each!

Sora: (t: At this rate, I'll be able to pay Riku back tenfold!) Alright, here we go girls. (the pics showed up on the screen)

Sa&B: WOW! We gotta tell the other girls!

Tea': Tell us what?

Beauty: Look! (pionted at the screen)

AG: I gotta have it!

Sora: Heh heh, how much do you need?

Later that night

Sora: Hey Riku, how much do I owe you?

Riku: Since when you asked me that? You usually try to avoid paying me.

Sora: Yeah, well, I thought I try to get out of debt. So how much?

Riku: Hmm...about $316 dollars.

Sora: 14...15...316 dollars. And here's a $20 for yourself.

Riku: Where did you get all of that money?

Sora: Don't worry about it. (left)

Riku: Ah well. Wonder what I should buy with my mon-

AG: Hi, Riku!

Riku: What the?

Sakura: Whatcha doing?

Riku: Uhh...counting my money.

Kagome: Sooooo...gotta girlfriend?

Riku: ...No.

Beauty: Want one?

Riku: Uhh...I guess.

Kagome: Well, see ya! (left)

Beauty: Bye, cutie! (left)

Sakura: I'll be 14 next month, so wait for me, Loverboy. (pinches him on the cheek before leaving)

Riku: (confused) I'll think I'll buy a defense mechanism.

So that's the first episode! Tell me what you think of it by reviewing! Click the button! Pwease?


	2. Episode 2

Episode 2-2nd week-around 1:44 pm

Yugi: Hey Riku. (in the middle of a duel with Tea') Umm...did you notice anything different about the rooms? Dark Magician, attack her lifepoints directly!

Riku: What, besides the fact that all of them are filled with pics of me? Where did they get them all? (Sora walks in)

Sora: Hello, good-bye.

Riku: Sora, get back here.

Tea': Yugi, I think we should eave.

Yugi: Yeah, I think we should. (left) ( background: Sora: Not another talk!)  
In the kitchen

Beauty: Who left their dirty dishes in the sink? Gaara!

Gaara: (walks in, pissed) Woman, can you shut up for 5 seconds, DAMN!

Beauty: Clean your dishes, now!

Gaara: Isn't it enough that I have to cook my own meals?

Beauty: You still have to clean up after yourself.

Gaara: I'm sick of this her. Sand-

Sakura: I'll get them! (runs in and turns the water on)

Beauty: Ok.

Gaara: You better. (left)

Beauty: What's his problem?

Sakura: Don't know, but he means well.

Beauty: Oh well. (opens the fridge) Hey, who took the last Pepsi?

Yugi: Oh no. (milennium puzzle starts to glow) Tea', he knows!

Tea': Knows what?

A flash of bright, gold light

Atem: Somebody sad Pepsi, didn't it? (jacked up Tea') Where is it hefer? I know you're hiding it! Wait! (sniffed the air) I smell it. (sniffs) It's...upstairs! (ran upstairs)

Tea': No! Not again! (ran after him)

Upstairs in the lounge

Kagome: (talking on the phone) Yeah he's so cute!... ...Even better than Hojo! His name's Riku and you won't believe he's single!... ... ...Yeah! (takes a sip of Pepsi) And I'm asking him o-

Atem: PEPSI!!! (tackles Kagome and takes her Pepsi)

Kagome: What the-Keiko, hold on-What are you doing, Yugi!

Atem: It's mine now, hefer! (chugs the whole can) Give me some more!

Kagome: I don't have-

Atem: (shaking her) Where-is-the-PEPSI!!!

Tea': Atem, stop! She doesn't have anymore!

Atem: YES-SHE-DO!

Kagome: Why-won't-he-stop?

Tea': Look Atem, Pepsi. (holds up a can)

Atem: (dropped Kagome) Where? (saw Tea' with the can and charged at her)

Tea': Stop or I'll drink it.

Atem: No! (begging like a dog) I'll be good. I'll be good.

Tea': Here. (tossed him the can)

Atem: YES!!! (popped the top and chugged)

Tea': Sorry 'bout that, Kagome. C'mon, Atem.

Atem: (spits the soda out) You nasty hefer! Thi ain't no damn Pepsi!

Tea': Caffeine free Pepsi.

Atem: No you didn't. You took the fun out of it, you damned, baka hefer-

Tea': Atem! (sighs) Just go. (both left)

Kagome: (sweat drop) Keiko, you still there?...Yeah. So, he's like, SO cute! Oooh, and I got a pic of him with his shirt off. I'll e-mail it to you.

In the living room-7:00 pm

Sakura: Where's Gaara?

Beauty: In the weight room with...Riku

AG: (sighed loveingly)

Riku: (walks in with Gaara) Tch, idiots. So, where's Kaiba?

Kaiba: Right here. (the T.V. clicked on) Hello again to you all. How was the first week?

Riku: Bull.

Yugi: Chaotic.

Gaara: ... ... ...

Sora: Fun, somewhat. (looked at Riku)

AG: It was FAN-tastic! (sighed loveingly

Kaiba: I suppose that you all can get along. That's good, because someone you all know shall be visiting all of you as a way of "comforting" you. I will be accompaining them, so be prepared. (T.V. clicked off)

Beauty: (t: Oh, I hope he doesn't bring Bobobo!)

Sakura: (t: Please, not Naruto!)

Sora: Hey Rku, I bet Axel's coming.

Riku: I hope not. (got up and left)

Yugi: (w) Who do you think would visit Gaara?

Kagome: (w) Don't know. (looked towards Gaara)

Gaara: (glared back at her, then followed Riku)

A the pool-7:04 pm

Riku: (wearing a hoodie on his head) Cool, no one's around. (started to take his pants off)

Gaara: What are you doing?

Riku: Aahhh! Don't sneak up on me like that! What do you want!

Gaara:... ... ... ...Nothing. (sat at the edge of the pool, letting his toes hang in the water)... ... ... ... ... ...How fast are you?

Riku: (in his swimming trunks) The fastest on my island. (started to swim laps)

Gaara: (watched him for a while) Remember when...you beat me?

Riku: What, in that training session? Yeah.

Gaara: How, do you focus your chakra?

Riku: My what?

Gaara: When...you shot me with that blast. It was stronger than my sand shield. How do you do that?

Riku: Can't tell ya. (started swimming again)

Gaara: (watched him again) Well...can you... ... ...

Riku: Can I what?

Gaara:... ... ... ... ...Train me. (looked embarrassed)

Riku: Tch...I don't know. What will I get in exchange?

Gaara: What do you want?

Riku: Tch, I don't know. (climbs out the pool) Why do you want me to train you?

Gaara: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...To kill Yugi.

Riku: Riku: What! Why?

Gaara: He is a potential threat-

Riku: Unless you provoke him. What does it take to get that through your thick skull of yours? He's a nice guy!

Tea': Girls! Riku's in the pool!

AG: RIKU! (ran outside in swimming apparatus)

Riku: Oh crap! (ran in the house and locked the door)

Sakura: The front door! (ran around the front)

Gaara: Beauty.

Beauty: What? (stopped)

Gaara: Look up.

Beauty: Why? (looked up)

Gaara: SAND COFFIN! (enclosed Beauty in a cradle of sand and crushed her, splattering her innards and gushing her blood all over)

In the living room

Yugi: What was that?

Sora: Don't know, what do you think it was?

Riku: Leave me alone! (running upstairs)

AG: _Oh Riku, you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind! Hey Riku! Hey Riku!_ (chasing after him)

Yugi: Oooookay. Your move, Sora.

Sora: Right. I place 3 cards facedown and I play, "Nightmare Steelcage"!

The next day-2:07 pm

Knock at door

Sakura: I'll get it.

When she opened the door, she got ambushed by Naruto and Bobobo.

Naruto: Sakura!

Bobobo: Beauty! Hey, you're not Beauty! Where's Beauty?  
Riku: WHo?

Kaiba: You mean to tell me that you lived with her for two weeks and you don't know who Beauty is? (w: Who's Beauty?)

Bobobo: Where's my Beauty?

Gaara: not on your face.

Kaiba: Anyway, here's the suprise. Meet Naruto, InuYasha, Axel, Serenity, Bobobo, Kairi: Orochimaru, and Wheeler. Well, commence with the communion.

Bobobo: Where's Beauty? Don't make me get Don Patch!

Kagome: Gaara saw her last.

All eyes on Gaara

Bobobo: Where's Beauty?

Gaara: Dead.

All: DEAD?!?

Yugi: How did she die?

Gaara: I killed her.

Bobobo: Why? (threw a tantrum) Beauty! I want my Beauty! Waaaaaah!

Axel: Ha ha, commit THAT to memory!

Sora, Kairi,&Riku: Shut up!

Axel: Got it mem-

Riku: Don't make me hurt you.

Naruto: Where do you keep the ramen?

Sakura: Naruto! Didn't you just hear that Gaara just killed Beauty?

Naruto: And? I'm starving!

InuYasha: Yeah, I'm hungry, too! (both ran into the kitchen)

Bobobo: Beauty's body! Where is it?

Gaara: What body?

Bobobo: Waaaaaaah!

Riku: Oh, I know where her body is.

Serenity: Where is she?

Riku took everyone outside to the pool to see the bloody remains of Beauty.

Riku: I saw it earlier, but I ain't cleaning that up.

Bobobo: That ain't Beauty; that's ketchup and bubble gum.

Joey: Nyah, that's her brains, blood, and intestines.

Bobobo: BEAUTY! (threw another tantrum) Waaaaaaah!

Kaiba: I oughtta kick you out for this!

Orochimaru: Nice job, love the slatter effect.

Axel: Damn. Got it memorized-OW! (just got hit with a well placed dictionary, curtisy of Sora)

Naruto: (in the kitchen) Hey InuYasha! I found the ramen and some Pepsi!

Yugi: Oh no, not again! (the millennium puzzle glowed)

InuYasha: Alright! (ran in and grabbed a can)

Atem: How dare you let this mutt even LOOK at Pepsi! Give it here!

InuYasha: No way! It's mine! (raised the can to his mouth)

Atem: (raised his hand to InuYasha's face) I'm warning you.

InuYasha: And what are you gonna do about it, shorty? (prepares to drink it)

Atem: MIND-

Kagome: InuYasha, SIT!

InuYasha: Aahhh! (fell face first, spilling the Pepsi on the floor)

Atem: NOOOOO! (dropped to the floor and picked up the empty Pepsi can) Precious, precious, PEPSI! (started to mourn for the drink)

Axel: It's just a drink.

Atem: (looked at Axel with death in his eyes) Just...a DRINK! I'll SHOW you just a DRINK!

Joey: Uhh...Rich Boy, don't you think we should leave?

Kaiba: You're right, for once. Clear out if you don't want to die!

Naruto: But my ramen-

All: GO!

The second enstallment enstills fear. The death of Beauty is less important to the Pharaoh, for Pepsi reings supreme. Dude.

Review please!


	3. Episode 3

The Surreal Life-Episode 3-Confession room, 4:15 pm-3rd week

Sora: This place is crazy! If one more girl comes up to Riku, I'mma kick all their asses! Riku's mine, you hear me, MINE! (w: Oh crap, I'm yelling this out loud!) Riku, why don't you love me? Leave these skank ho's alone and commit to your fate! We were meant to be! Man, that felt good. (leaving) No wonder Kaiba put this in here.

In the living room

Sora: (walking in) What's up?

Everyone stared at Sora, Riku looked with the utmost fury.

Sora: Is there something on my face?

Sakura: Sora, you just came out of the Coffession room, didn't you?

Sora: Yeah, and?

Tea': You know not to trust Kaiba, right?

Sora: Why?

Riku: Give me 200 dollars, now.

Sora: Huh? What did I do?

Kagome: What you said was broadcast all throughtout the house.

Sora: What? No way, how? I thought-

Tea': Sora, what do you mean by skank hos?

Riku: And that it's my fate to love you.

Sakura: AND the fact that if another girl hits on you, you'll kick all our butts?

Atem: Doesn't anyone care about the tradegy that happened last week?  
Sora: Beauty's death?

Atem: Not the hefer! The death of a poor, innocent, pure-hearted can of Pepsi! hugged a mini-coffin that says: R.I.P Pepsi "We will never forget you" (2006-2006)

Gaara: It's just a soda.

Everyone left except Gaara, Atem, and Riku.

Aem: How DARE you mock the serenity of Pepsi! I've put up with you for long enough!  
Gaara: Prepare to die. San-

Riku: No! Don't do it-

Atem: MIND CRUSH! (Atem shot but missed, hitting Riku and crushing his mind. (F.Y.I: Riku pushed Gaara out of the way just in time) Damn. Look at what you made me do. Well, when you see him, tell him I'll bring him back in a couple of minutes.

Gaara: (looked at Riku's motionless body, then back at Atem, terrified of what he might do) You...you wouldn't dare!

Atem: I would. Mi-

Tea': Atem, I got some Pepsi!

Atem: Where?! (ran after her)

Gaara: (w) Now's my chance.

Atem: (raised his hand) Try it and see.

Tea': Please Gaara, leave him alone!

Gaara: (glared)... ... ...You will die. (left)

Sakura,Sora,and Kagome: What did you do to Riku? How-

Atem: (looked at them with Look No.34-Try me.)

Sa,SoandK: Nevermind.

Sora: Just, bring him back, please, Mr. Atem, sir.

Atem: (while drinking the Pepsi)...Fine. (snapped his fingers)

AG&Sora: Riku! (ran to him)

Riku: (sitting up, rubbing his head) Ow. Dang, I told him not to provoke him. Where's Gaara?

Kagome: Don't know. Why?

Riku: I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. (walked upstairs)

Tea': Sora-

Sora: You can't 'cause he's MINE!

Sakura: That's it! (all of the girls jumped Sora)

Sora: Aahhh! Hey no-wait! Stop! I'm sorry-OWWWWW! That hurts! STOP!

In the weight room

Gaara is sitting on one of the benches, relieving the moment where he almost died when Riku walked in.

Riku: You. I told you not to provoke him. What did I tell you...

Gaara:... ... ... ... ...

Riku: Don't you have anything to say?

Gaara:... ... ... ...

Riku: Tch. Well, I've got something to say, you little basta-

Gaara: Why did you save me?

Riku:...? Hmph. 1. Because you're an idiot, and 2. I knew he'd bring me back if he hit me.

Gaara:.. ... ... ... ... ...It's just a soda-

Riku: Not to him. Right now I expect he's giving it a funeral.

Gaara:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...Did it... ... ...hurt?

Riku: What you think? He crushed my mind. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out.

Gaara: ... ... ... ... ...Is it a way to stop it?

Riku: Unless you can teleport, there's no other way to dodge it. As soon as he says "Crush" it's activated. The power goes straight through any kind of armor whatsoever, searches out your brain, dissevers your nerve endings and delets your mind.

Gaara: You know a lot about it.

Riku: I got hit by it before. And no amout of traning can get around it, unless you have a Millennium item.

Gaara: Really? And where can I find an item?

Riku: (sighed, then started doing chin-up bar) If you must know, Atem has 5 out of 7, and the other two are owned by two guys that WILL kill you in an instant.

Gaara: He's really going to kill me-

Riku: No he won't. I know he gets a...little crazy, but he's a nice guy...20. (drops down)

Gaara:... ... ... ...Really?

Riku: You know what your problem is? You think everyone's out to get you. You're a loner. No self-confidence. You're nothing but a heartless.

Gaara: A what?

Riku: I can see it now. Searching, killing, blood-thirsty, only happy when you die.

Gaara: You don't know what my life was like.

Riku: I was tainted with darkness, been controlled by a heartless, destroyed my home, and almost destroyed everything by opening the door to the darkness, which, mind you, I spent almost a year in. There's no way your life is worse than mine. (took off his shirt and started to benchpress 350lb.)

Gaara:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... It just a soda. (walked out) (w) But I'm glad you were the one who saved me..._Riku_...)

That night-11:30 pm-the porch swing

Riku: (sitting next to Kagome on the porch-swing) Kagome, you're OK. So far, I like you the most.

Kagome: (blushing) Really?

Riku: Yeah, I mean, you're smart, funny, and can think for yourself. Tonight was really fun.

Kagome: (giggling) Yeah, especially when those birds chased after you.

Riku: That was not cool. I'm just glad that they didn't decide to let loose on me.

Kagome: Yeah, that wouldn't have messed up.

Riku: Yeah, well...(stared up at the stars)...Kagome?

Kagome: (smiling) Huh?

Riku: I want you to be my girlfriend, if you want to.

Kagome: I'd love too. (blushing) I...didn't know if you liked me enough.

Riku: Of course I do. (smiled, then kissed her, tounge and all)

In the bushes

Sora: (looking at Riku kiss Kagome through some binoculars) No the HELL she didn't! How dare her! He's MINE! But I don't wanna get hurt again. (rubbing his black eye) I'm already missing two teeth. Man, this ais a load of CRAP!

On the porch swing

Kagome: (breaking the kiss) Did you hear something?

Riku: No, but do you think Yugi would mind if we went into his room?

Kagome: Not at all. (giggled)

Riku: (kissed her, then got up, holding her hand) I'm gonna rock your world. (went into the room)

In the bushes

Sora: (getting up) Oh no! I can't let this happen! I've gotta do something! (running upstairs)

In Room 4

Both Riku and Kagome are in the bed, in another long french kiss.

Riku: (breaking the kiss, then kisses her along her neck) How's...about...you take...your shirt...off for me. (statred rubbing her leg)

Kagome: Ok, but you take your's off first.

Riku: As you wish. (of course, took off her shirt)

Kagome: Oh Riku, how do you get yor abs so perfect? (laying on top of him, encircling his belly button with her finger)

Riku: I don't know, you tell me. (eyeing her every move, feeling his erection coming)

Ouside Room 4's door

Sora: (pacing across the hall) What can I do? (heard Kagome's gigling from inside the room) Oh no, he's probably showing her his flawless, rock-hard abs! Aarrgh! What can I do? That's it! (pulls out keyblade and singes the arpet with a fire spell, causing smoke.

Inside Room 4

Riku: (rubbing her back) Now it's your turn.

Kagome: Ok. (took off her shirt and started to un-hook her bra)

Riku: Heh heh heh. (gave her one of those malicious smirks, trying to contain his hardend manhood, which is straining to escape his pants and enter the inner sanctions of Kagome)

Kagome: (on the last hook but stopped) Do you smell smoke?

Riku: (t: Oh come on!) No, keep going.

Sora: (outside the room) FIRE! IT'S A FIRE!

Kagome: Oh my god! (climbing out of the bed and pulling on a bathrobe) Come on, Riku!

Riku: (getting out of bed, thinking: I'mma kick your ass, Sora!) I bet it's a load of bull. (pulled on his shirt)

Everyone gathers outside with Sora coming out last.

Sora: Don't worry, I took care of it. It seemed to start by Room 4's door.

Yugi: My room? Was there anyone in there?

Riku: (t: Ooooh, I'mma kick your ass, Sora!) (w: Kagome, aren't we gonna finsh up?)

Kagome: Sorry, Riku. This fire business has ruined the moment. (left) Maybe next time.

Sakura: (w) I bet I know what those two were diong.

Tea': Lucky girl! Well, maybe not so lucky. (left)

Everyone left except Sora and Riku.

Riku: (in a deadly vioce) Sora...

Sora: Riku...I know what you're thinking, you don't need her! I'm the one who loves you! She justs wants to get into your pants! Well, I do too, but-(saw Riku) Bye! (ran off)

Riku: SOOOOOORA!! Get back HERE! (chasing after him, keyblade in hand)

And that's the third episode. The horror starts in the fourth and final chapter of "The Surreal Life".

Please Review!


	4. Episode 4

Episode 4- 4th week- living room-5:05 pm

Tea': (dueling Yugi) Can you believe this? Riku and Kagome are together, Beauty's dead, Atem went ballistic, Gaara's bent on killing you and Sora's been hospitalized for the rest of the week. I knew Kaiba was just getting back at us for all of those attacks we did. I play Petit angel in defense.

Yugi: (drawing a card) What do you mean "we"? I'm not the one who threw bricks and maced him, that was Joey and Atem. I had nothing to do with it. Attack her Petit Angel, Summoned Skull! I mean, everyone else got hurt besides us, right? End.

Tea': Think about it Yugi! He's messing with our heads. Kaiba knew I would fall in love with…Riku (sighed lovingly) and he knew Atem would eventually find some "you-know-what". He's torturing our minds! End-no wait!  
Yugi: You ended, Tea'. Now Summoned Skull, attack hey directly!  
Tea': Oh, I lost again! (looked out the window to see Riku and Kagome kissing intently) Ooooohhh! See what I mean? Stuff like that! I bet Kaiba put him up to this!  
Yugi: Well, how do you kow he didn't. Besides, if he wanted to get back at us, how come Joey isn't here?

Tea': Oh you didn't know? Kaiba made Joey his pet until we get back.

Yugi: Oh no, poor Joey. Well, I'm convinced. Listen up Tea'. I got a plan.

The basketball court-6: 20 pm

Sakura just made a jump shot when Gaara walked on the court.

Gaara:… .. … …Sakura, I need-

Sakura: What? You need me to help you in one of your stupid attempts to kill Yugi? No chance. (shot but missed) I don't have anything against him.

Gaara: I said-

Sakura: and I don't care! (missed another shot)

Gaara: (w: Bitch.) Stand still. (raised his hand toward Sakura's face)

Sakura: (looked behind her) What for? (saw a flash of gold behind Gaara) Watch out!  
Gaara: (sand swirled around him) DIE!

But the sand never reached Sakura because Gaara collapsed on the ground in front of her, head bleeding.

Sakura: What the- (looking around, reaching for a kunai) Who's there? Show yourself! (she is feeling extreme fear as she constantly hears a sound as if skates were rolling on pavement) You…you don't want to mess with me!  
_Yeah, I would._

A sickening sound followed by a thud stating that Sakura collasped with the back of her head bleeding.

Next day-the den-3: 33 pm

Kagome: Can you believe this? First Beauty, then Sora, now Sakura and Gaara! Who's next? Me?

Riku: I knew this was going to be a load of bull.

Yugi: Guys, we gotta keep a positive attitude about this.

Tea': How can we keep a positive attitude about this, Yugi? People are getting attacked either by some unknown force or another house guest.

Kagome: But who gould it be? (everyone looked around)

Riku: Well, whoever it is, I'd like to see them attack me.

Kagome: Don't say that! You might be next. (hugged Riku)

Riku: Trust me, no one can get to me. (kissed Kagome)

Tea': (rolling her eyes) Yugi, don't you think that-

Yugi: Don't worry, as soon as Kaiba tells us this is over, we don't have to worry about it. Uhh...(w: Don't look now Tea')

Tea': (looked over to Riku and Kagome, who started to make-out on the couch) Grrrrr...

Yugi: Come on. (pulled her out of the room)

In the weight room-7: 34 pm

Riku's on the benchpress (amped it up to 375 lb) with Kagome watching him.

Riku: (on his 28th rep) Kagome...you don't have... to watch...me.

Kagome: Yes I do! Whatever is happening to the house guests isn't going to happen to you. I won't let it.

Riku: I'm...not a little...kid. I...told you...no one...can get rid...of me.

Kagome: Whatever you say, but I'm still watching you.

Tea': (walking in) Kagome, can I borrow your blow dryer?

Kagome: Yeah, sure. I'll be right back, my love. (walked out followed by a pissed off Tea')

Riku: Tch...I told...her. (put it up on his 50th rep and grabed a towel that was handed to him by a little kid holding a bat) Thanks. (thought about it) Hey wait-

_Be safe._

When Kagome made it back to the room, she noticed she stepped in something wet, like a pool of something wasted.

Kagome: Huh? (looked down to see a dark puddle of blood coming from under the door)...(in a terrified vioce) Ri...ku? Are you...okay? (she opened the door to reveal Riku facedown in a large puddle of his own blood that is flowing freely from his face)-RIKU!!!

In the living room-8: 20 pm

Tea': This isn't right. We know it's not one of us-

Kagome: (eyes filled with tears) Oh yeah? Well how do we know you didn't do it!  
Tea': Why would I do it?

Kagome: I knew you were jealous of what we had! You wanted him to love you, but when he chose me, you couldn't take it, and now he's...he's...gone! (burst into tears)

Tea': Uhh one thing. How could I attack him if I was with you when he was attacked?

Kagome: You could have hired someone to!  
Yugi: Look, we can't tear our friendships apart over something like this. (t: God, I sound like Tea'!)  
Kagome: (crying) How can you be so calm? (cried heavily)

Yugi: We only have two days left.

The next day-the infirmirary-11: 12 am

Kagome: (sitting next to the comatose Riku) Why...I knew you were next...As soon as this thing is over, I'll sue Kaiba for all he's worth! (tears streaming down her face) Don't worry my love, I'll fight until justice is served! (kissed him on his cold, death-like lips)

_Ma'am, visiting hours are over._

Kagome: Please, give me a little more time with him.

_I'll give you all of the time in the world..._

Later that day-Room 4-8: 08 pm

Tea': Yugi, I'm scared. We're the only ones left. This has got to stop!

Yugi: ... ... ...

Tea': Don't space out on me now! (grabbed Yugi) We've got to stick together; we're the only ones left!  
Yugi: (looked up with a crazed look) Don't worry, I've got a plan.

Tea': Now you're scaring me!  
_Are you ready to join your friends?_

Tea': You! You're the one who's been doing this! You can't-

_I can._

Then both Tea' and Yugi collaspses on the floor. No one is left. Deathly silence is the only thing that fills the void...

Next day-5: 59 pm

Kaiba: (walking into the empty house) Guess what? Time to go back to your respectiful homes.

Lil' Slugger: I did what you told me boss. All of them were taken care of, just like you wanted.

Kaiba: What? Who are you?

Lil' Slugger: The Paranoia Agent, just as you requested.

Kaiba: I didn't want anyone to do anything. I just wanted Yugi to suffer for a month.

Lil' Slugger: Well someone hired me and I can't reverse what I did.

Kaiba: That's it! I'm calling the cops! (pulls out his cellphone)

Lil' Slugger: (started to smile) Looks to me you're suffering from paranoia. (raised his bat)

Kaiba: What are you talking about? (puts up his phone) You're lucky I can't get a signal.

Lil' Slugger: Ooooohh...I'm shaking in my skates. (skated towards Kaiba)

Kaiba: Stay back! You don't know who you're messing with! (ran down the hall)

Lil' Slugger: You can't run from me. (kept swinging at Kaiba, putting dents and holes in the walls)

As Kaiba ran, he heard the voices of Yugi, Tea', Gaara, Sakura, Riku, Kagome and Beauty in his head.

_Why Kaiba...why did you do this?... ... ...What did I ever do to you?... ... ...You didn't even care I died!... ... ...See where payback gets you... ... ..._

Kaiba: Get out of my head!

_Shut up and die!_

When Kaiba turned a corner, he met a dead end.

Lil' Slugger: One thing...there's one thing you can say to make me stop.

Kaiba: Please! Please let me live!  
Lil' Slugger: Not this time.

Kaiba: NOOOOO! (he is hit in the head and blackouts. He waqkes up in Room 1, dizzy) Wh...where am I? (sat up just to see the ghostly forms of the former house guests.

_Yugi: Now it's time for you to join us._

Kaiba: What do you mean?

_Sakura: You're dead, Seto Kaiba. We are here to take you._

Kaiba: T...take me where?

_Riku: To HELL! _

Then a black portal appeared in front of Kaiba, and in it emerges a very large Darkside Heartless.

Darkside: I...am your Death Bringer.

Kaiba: NOOO!! I'm too young to die!

Joey: (coming from behind the heartless) Hey Rich boy!

Kaiba: Wha-

Then the brick which Joey just threw collided with Kaiba's face, knocking him out. Silence, then-

Yugi: Ha ha! He fell for it!

Riku: Ok Darkside, you're done. (he notioned to the heartless which vanished)

Joey: That'll teach him to mess with us! Who played Lil' Slugger?

Mokuba: (taking off the hat) I did! I couldn't resist!  
Tea': Finally, we can get out of this house.

Sakura: Yeah, but I'm getting all of this white paint off first.

Riku: (w) Kagome, I'm breaking up with you.

AG: WHAT?!?  
Kagome: But...but...but why?

Riku: I don't know. (in background: Sora: Nyah-nyah!)

Sora: Shouldn't we take a shower?

Yugi: You're right. But there's one thing bugging me.

Tea': What?

Yugi: Who was Beauty?

Everyone looked towards the ghostly version of Beauty.

Beauty: What? I couldn't have a little fun? (vanished)

Gaara: That was...her ghost?

Riku: You actually killed her?!?  
Kagome: Guys, I'm scared.

Sora: Me too.

Everyone huddled together, scared.

And that's the end! I hope you liked this story, and if you did, let me hear a R (R!) E (E!) V (V!) I (I!) E (E!) W (W!) what that spells? Review! Review! Review! (trinity!)


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